


the past might be sad but don’t worry anymore

by dearhyuck



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Soulmates, Soulmates feel each other's pain, Time Skips, jaemin is the bestest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 06:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18686275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearhyuck/pseuds/dearhyuck
Summary: “I would never! The pain between soulmates is meant to be shared. I kind of feel better knowing that they won’t have to go through that alone, even if I’m not really there, at least I hope they know they aren’t alone.” Renjun explained calmly.“I never thought of it like that, I always thought that I was selfish for making my soulmate go through my pain when they shouldn’t have to.” he muttered.Renjun took his hand and smiled at him softly.“It’s okay Hyuck.”





	the past might be sad but don’t worry anymore

**Author's Note:**

> this was a draft i had on my google docs that i decided to actually write for once.  
> this is my first nct fanfic so? im sorry in advance.
> 
> keep in mind that this is unbeta-ed and english isn't my first language! regardless of that, i hope you enjoy it!

_You waited for a long time  
Hello, my soulmate_

\- Zico feat. IU ; Soulmate

 

* * *

 

 

It was just like any other day, it is such a wrong thing to say, that you’re used to being abused, that it has become a routine, but it was the truth, Donghyuck couldn’t help it. He’s so used to this feeling that he doesn’t even care about his own well-being anymore, he only cares about how his soulmate shouldn’t have to deal with the same pain inflicted on him, as they didn’t deserve it. For a really long time, Donghyuck believed in his parents’ words, that he didn’t have a soulmate, that someone as pathetic as him would never find true love/happiness, that is, until he started to connect the dots and figured out that Renjun’s pitied soulmate was none other than himself, the one that everyone pitied, was the one no one would ever suspect of.

 

He considered telling Renjun everything, hoping the older boy would cut the bond and despite it being extremely painful, it was only to prevent Renjun from any further pain. But as his parents always said, he was a useless boy, a useless and selfish boy. His bond with Renjun was the only thing keeping him sane, the only answer that the universe gave him as to why he should even be walking around in this vague universe, where supposedly no one cares about him.

 

His train of thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a massive pain on his wrist, making him look up. His dad was already looking at him with fire red eyes, also grabbing his wrist, twisting it violently. It was going to leave a mark for sure.

 

“You haven’t listened to anything I’ve said, have you?” The man that he was supposed to call father yelled, making Donghyuck wince. “You are as useless as always, you can’t even defend yourself like a real man, I can’t believe my own flesh and blood turned out like this, this useless pathetic thing.”

 

Something in his wrist seemed to snap, and he saw the room around him turn black.

 

-

 

Renjun was hanging out with Jaemin and Chenle when it happened, they went out together to get some bubble tea, on the store Jaemin wouldn’t shut up about. It seemed like a pretty good day to him, he had no major pain, which was a rare occasion, that is, until his wrist started burning. He yelped in pain and quickly Chenle and Jaemin were looking at him worriedly, both moving next to him to examine the wrist that the small chinese boy was holding.

 

“What happened?” Jaemin asked confused, since only 2 minutes ago they were laughing at Chenle’s awkward date with Jisung.

 

“I don’t know, I think it’s my soulmate, it really, really hurts. I hope they’re okay.” Renjun stated, still holding his wrist with his free hand.

 

“I really hope so.” Chenle looked at the smaller boy pitifully.

 

-

 

Going to school with a broken wrist without anyone noticing was a bit of a struggle for Donghyuck, but it wasn’t that hard since everyone was more concerned about Renjun and if he was feeling better. He couldn’t blame them really, no one knew what was going on with him and they won’t, unless he tells them, but that’s besides the point.

 

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Donghyuck says as he gets closer to where his friends were, carefully raising his right hand, luckily the damaged wrist not being the right one, that would be way more difficult to hide.

 

“Renjunnie’s soulmate broke their wrist.” Jaemin answered, gesturing him to come closer only to grab Renjun’s wrist and show it to him. “Look.”

 

“That sucks, I hope they are okay.” Donghyuck replies, pretending to be looking at his friend’s wrist, thus not making eye contact with anyone. The way Jaemin grabbed Renjun’s wrist made his hurt too, he closed his eyes and tried to keep his breath even.

 

“Yeah, me too.” He hears Renjun say softly. It breaks his heart to see him like that, to be the one causing him unnecessary pain. He feels guilty because he put Renjun through that and he doesn’t deserve anything but love and happiness, things Donghyuck feels like he won’t be ever able to give him.

 

-

 

When Jaemin grabbed his wrist to go to class he tried his best not to show any signs of pain, but he couldn’t keep a quiet whimper in, which made Jaemin immediately drop his wrist and check if he was okay.

 

“It’s nothing really! You just held it a bit too tightly it’s nothing to worry about!” Donghyuck quickly said, before Jaemin could ask him any questions.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jaemin asked, concern obvious in his voice.

 

This was his chance to tell Jaemin everything, he could get it out of his chest once and for all, maybe Jaemin could help him, he could help him help Renjun. Donghyuck was about to open his mouth and as if the universe was mocking him the bell rang, _of course it wouldn’t be that easy_ , he thought to himself.

 

“I’m definitely sure, for real! Don’t be worried! I just stayed all night up playing some games on my phone and because I’m stupid” he moves his hands as to elaborate on what he was saying. “I was laying on my wrist… it will go away after a while hopefully!” Donghyuck stopped himself from saying anything more, in fear of what might come out of his mouth.

 

“That’s why you look so shitty today, no wonder you didn’t sleep! Donghyuck-ah you really need to stop staying up all night to play games! And be careful so you don’t hurt your soulmate too!” Jaemin said while laughing quietly.

 

“Hey! I always look good! What are you on about? And yes I’ll be more careful.” Donghyuck faked a smile and pinched his friend’s side.

“I’m joking! And please be.”

 

-

 

It had been 2 weeks since the wrist accident, it was getting better, and his parents weren’t hitting him as much anymore, which he was thankful for, since that meant Renjun wouldn’t have to suffer because of him.

They were currently out, the two of them alone, since Donghyuck didn’t want to go back home for a while and Renjun offered to keep him company.

 

“Do you have a soulmate Hyuck? I’ve never seen you suffering because of someone else’s pain.” the older asked, handing his friend a spoon so they could share their ice cream.

 

“I do.” he smiled softly. “They don’t get hurt often, so I don’t feel their pain a lot, thankfully.”

 

“That must be nice…”

 

“Have you ever thought of cutting the bond?” Donghyuck questioned and Renjun nearly choked on his strawberry ice cream.

 

“W-What the hell Hyuck?! Of course not!” he coughed a bit and his voice came out cracky.

 

“It’s just… your soulmate causes you a lot of pain, it would be better if you cut the bond.” the caramel-haired said honestly, looking away from the other.

 

“I would never! The pain between soulmates is meant to be shared. I kind of feel better knowing that they won’t have to go through that alone, even if I’m not really there, at least I hope they know they aren’t alone.” Renjun explained calmly.

 

“I never thought of it like that, I always thought that I was selfish for making my soulmate go through my pain when they shouldn’t have to.” he muttered.

 

Renjun took his hand and smiled at him softly.

 

“It’s okay Hyuck.”

 

-

 

As his last class finished a bit earlier and he was up, organizing the things on his bag, he felt a sharp pain on this right shoulder that almost made him fall back. His mind went to all the possible explanations for what he just felt. Above all, he just wanted Renjun to be okay. That wasn’t the case.

 

“Hyuck?” Jeno asked, his voice small after witnessing his friend almost fall back due to the sudden pain.

 

“It was my soulmate... I think. I hope they’re okay!” he replied with a worried look.

 

Just as Donghyuck finished speaking and Jeno helped him get back on his feet properly, Jaemin came running to their classroom, yelling something about Renjun and infirmary. Jeno held his soulmate down and calmed him so he could explain what happened to their older friend.

 

“So me and Junnie were in PE and we were playing basketball, and this dude tossed him the ball **really** strongly but it hit him on the shoulder, and now Junnie is on the infirmary. And I don't know what to do, he could barely move his arm and I’m scared it’s gonna be really bad.” Jaemin said very quickly, but the other two understood it, already used to Jaemin’s fast talking.

 

Something seemed to connect in Jeno’s mind and he looked at Donghyuck, who looked back at him wide-eyed. Jeno attempted to say something, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Donghyuck grabbed both Jeno and Jaemin by the arm and started taking them to the infirmary.

 

-

 

“Oh my, Renjun you’re alive!” Donghyuck tackled the older in a hug, not remembering the shoulder injury that both of them had.

 

Renjun separated himself from the younger, while hissing in pain. Donghyuck subcounsciously stroked his own shoulder, as if to try to make his soulmate’s pain more bearable. Renjun didn’t notice it, too focused on the pain he felt. But Jaemin and Jeno (for the second time) did, and shot him a _we need to talk later, and you can’t get yourself out of this_ one look.

 

“Hyuck, be more careful.” Jeno said, moving forward to get closer and see Renjun. “How are you feeling?” He softly asked Renjun, who was laying down with his left hand on his right shoulder. Thankfully Donghyuck’s left wrist had already healed, meaning that so did Renjun’s. Surprisingly it took only a month and a few weeks to heal, even if he thought it would take up to six months, after careful research on google.

 

“I am now. It only hurt really bad for the first 10 minutes, and then the nurse gave me a pain killer so I feel better.” Renjun replied, with an honest smile. Jeno nodded in relief, and Jaemin let out a long breath that he was probably holding. “I just hope I didn’t hurt my soulmate too bad. They already suffer so much and I don't want to add up to the pain.”

 

And then it clicked for both Jaemin and Jeno, Donghyuck and Renjun are soulmates, Renjun’s soulmate is often hurt, and probably abused, which means… Donghyuck has been suffering in silence all this time.

 

They both turn to look at Donghyuck at the same time, the caramel haired boy had his eyes fixed on the ground, his fists curled on his sides. Before any of his friends could even react to what they just found out he let out a pained laugh.

 

“Why are you worried about your soulmate. You are the one in pain! I- They always make you feel their own pain all the time and it’s so bad, you shouldn’t be worried that they experience yours for once, for fuck’s sake.” Donghyuck snapped, his voice cracking a few times.

 

“You wouldn’t understand! The pain they feel is awful, I know because I feel it too and you know it! I don’t want them to feel more pain because of me! They already suffer enough! You just don’t get it!” Renjun yelled back, angry because of how his friend was treating his soulmate.

 

Renjun looked at Donghyuck to see tears rolling down the youngest’s face. Jaemin moved to hug his, now sobbing friend. Donghyuck struggled out of Jaemin’s embrace and looked up at his soulmate.

 

“Yeah, you know what… I really don’t.” And he ran outside, leaving all of his three friends speechless.

 

That night Renjun’s heart hurt a lot.

 

-

 

Donghyuck managed to avoid his friends for 3 days. That is, until Jaemin cornered him when he was looking for a place to have lunch at.

 

“Hyuckie, what’s going on? Who’s the one hurting you? Why don’t you tell Renjun? We’re here for you.”

 

And with that Donghyuck broke down crying and told Jaemin everything. What his parents did to him, how he thought Renjun didn’t deserve to go through the pain he did, that he thinks Renjun will never think of him as his soulmate and that he will probably reject him as soon as he tells him the truth, and his insecurities.

Jaemin silently took in all his friend had to say, holding him in his arms, away from where the other students were gathered, softly caressing the other’s hair in hopes to calm him down.

 

“It’s going to be okay, me and Nono and Renjunnie will help you and everything will be okay. They won’t hurt you anymore.” Jaemin whispered in his ear softly.

 

Donghyuck let himself believe it.

 

-

 

**_Jaem (;¬_¬)_ **

_i found hyuckie!!! can u n nono meet me @ the lockers near the labs?? pls b quick!_ _˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚_

**(1:47 pm)**

 

Immediately after he got the message, he rose to his feet and started sprinting towards where Jaemin said to meet him at, a confused Jeno following him close behind.

 

As they reached the place, he saw two people sitting down on the floor, Jaemin and Donghyuck. The first was holding the other against his chest, and the latter seemed to be asleep. Renjun's heart hurt as he saw the younger with tear stains on his cheeks. He was about to open his mouth and ask what had happened when Jaemin brought his finger to his mouth and then pointed at the sleeping Donghyuck in his chest, motioning him to stay quiet and let the other rest.

 

The older sat down next to the other two and awkwardly started playing with his hands and looking around, not really knowing what to do.

He caught Jeno and Jaemin sharing a perceptive glance between them and he felt a bit excluded. Did the other two already know what was happening with Donghyuck? Why hadn’t they told him? How do they know? A lot of questions kept crossing Renjun’s mind until a shifting movement on his right made him go back to reality.

 

“Hyuck?” Renjun called, hesitantly.

 

“Junnie?” the younger looked and sounded so broken, his voice raspy from all the crying, his hair a mess, cheeks were tear stained, and all of it hurt Renjun too.

 

The older opened his arms slowly as if testing the water, but as soon as he did, Donghyuck jumped from Jaemin’s hold to his. Nuzzling his head on the black-haired’s neck, Renjun placed his hands protectively on the other’s waist and brought him closer to his own body, in hopes to comfort him.

 

“I’m sorry.” the younger mumbled against the older's neck, trying to not start crying again.

 

“It’s okay baby, we’re fine now.” Renjun said, letting the nickname slip accidentally. He  loosened his hold and looked at the boy underneath him, to check if there were any signs of him being uncomfortable with the nickname, and grinned when he saw a faint red adorning the youngest's cheeks and a tiny smile on his lips.

 

Meanwhile Jaemin looked up at Jeno, who was standing up, looking fondly at his friends. Jeno looked back at Jaemin and they shared a knowing smile.

 

-

 

After that whole breakdown Jaemin thought that Renjun and Donghyuck needed to make up for the lost time and arranged a sleepover for both of them, in Renjun’s house, much to Renjun’s disagreement ( _“why are you inviting people to MY house nana?” “shut up you should be thanking me!”_ ).

 

“If you don’t want me here I can go home, I really don’t want to bother.” Donghyuck said in a small voice, as he entered the other’s house.

 

“No, of course you aren’t bothering me! I was just messing with Jaemin!” the older quickly responded.

 

Renjun grabbed Donghyuck’s hand in hopes to calm the younger as he led the other to his room, so he could put his stuff down and start thinking of what to have for dinner.

 

“So, do you want to eat anything in particular? My mom can cook for us.”

 

“I’m fine with whatever, your mom’s food is really good!” Donghyuck smiled painfully, knowing how he hasn’t had a home-cooked meal in so long that he barely remembers his mother’s cooking.

 

He wondered if his parents realized he wasn’t home, if they even cared that he didn’t show up home, if they are looking for him, or if they are relieved that they finally got rid of their useless son.

 

-

 

“Do you love your soulmate?”  
  
They were laying in bed next to each other when Donghyuck threw that in the air. Renjun paused his Super Mario Bros level and looked at Donghyuck questioningly.

 

“Of course I do.”

  


“Even if you don’t know them?” the younger looked at Renjun.

  


“Yes. You see, soulmates are connected. That’s why we feel each other’s pain. I’ve felt their presence for as long as I remember, it’s a part of me I’ve learned to love, and I know that as soon as I know them I’ll feel complete.” Renjun said honestly, not breaking eye-contact. “But you don’t have to necessarily love your soulmate in a romantic way, a soulmate is someone that you would trust with your life, you complete each other, it can be in a completely platonic way! Even though most soulmates end up being in a romantic relationship.” he added. “But why are you asking me this? Are you having doubts about your soulmate?”

  


“No! Far from it, actually! I know I love them more than anything, I’m just scared they won’t love me back.” Donghyuck broke eye-contact with the other and stared at the ceiling.

  


“I’m sure they will! You are very lovable Hyuckie.” he said sincerely.

  
  
  


That night they sleep together, legs intertwined underneath Renjun’s bedsheets, Donghyuck’s head in Renjun’s neck, the latter resting his chin on top of the other’s, arms wrapped around each other.

  


To Renjun nothing had ever felt that right.

  


-

  


“So, I talked to my mom yesterday, and she said you could stay with us for as long as you need!” Jaemin offered, patting his friend’s back.  
  
---  
  
 

“I really can’t accept that Nana!” Donghyuck said apologetically.

 

“I promised you wouldn’t get hurt again! So until we find a way to deal with your situation please stay at my place.” he did his irresistible puppy eyes and Donghyuck gave right in.

 

“Okay, but I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

 

-

 

Renjun didn’t know what was happening, the day after their sleepover Donghyuck just started going to Jaemin’s after school everyday, it was like he was living with him at this point. Even Jeno seemed to know what was going on with Donghyuck, apparently everyone did, except Renjun, which brings them to where they are right now.

 

“I told you it’s nothing!” Donghyuck said, raising his voice a little more than normal.

 

“If it’s nothing just tell me why everyone seems to know what’s up with you and staying at Jaemin’s, except me!” Renjun backfired.

 

“It’s nothing important anyway! You don’t have to worry about it!”

 

“You’re my friend, I worry about you!” Renjun raised his voice as well.

 

“Exactly! I’m just your friend! That’s the problem!” Donghyuck yelled. As soon as he realized what he had just said he covered his mouth with his hands.

 

“What do you mean?” Renjun asked, voice suddenly quiet. “Donghyuck, please tell me what you mean with what you just said.”

 

“Nothing! It slipped, I’m just stupid! Don’t worry about me, I’m fine!” And he ran off.

 

-

 

“What do you mean you don’t know where Hyuck is?!” Jaemin yelled in his face.

 

“We kind of had a fight, and he ran off, I’m not really sure.” he said honestly.

 

“We have to find him! My mom said he wasn’t in our house!” the younger started to panic.

 

“Relax Jaemin, he’s probably fine! He must have went home.”

 

Jaemin started shaking and worriedly biting his nails as Renjun finished his sentence. Renjun sent him a questioning look. But as he was to ask what was the deal with Donghyuck and him, he felt a painful burn on his cheek. He hissed in pain.

 

“Oh my, we need to find Hyuck quickly! C’mon Renjun let’s go!” Jaemin got up and grabbed Renjun’s wrist, forcing him to walk with him.

 

“Wait, what do you mean? Where’s Donghyuck? Why did you just say that as soon as my cheek hurt? What do you know?” he asked, not getting a single answer to his questions.

 

“Please let’s just go, Donghyuck will explain later!” and he let himself be led by Jaemin.

 

-

 

Donghyuck honestly thought no one was home, both of his parents were supposed to be working. He planned to just grab some of his stuff and drop it at Jaemin’s house as he felt bad for always using his friends stuff. But as soon as he opened the front door, the sign of his mother greeted him. She smiled devilishly at him.

 

“Look at who decided to show up!” She smirked.

 

“I’m just here to grab some clothes, I’ll be going soon, you don’t have to worry about me I’ll be gone soon!” Donghyuck said quickly, trying to move past her to his bedroom.

 

“Me and your father do the most to give you the best education, and you shouldn't leave like that. I taught you better than this Lee Donghyuck!” his mom yelled.

 

He didn’t reply, just opening the door to his room and starting to pack as much as he could in his backpack.

 

“Answer to me when I talk to you Lee Donghyuck, I’m not gonna say this twice!” she spat.

 

He still didn’t reply.

 

That seemed to irritate his mom more, she started walking to where he was packing his stuff, slapping his hand, making his backpack fall on the floor.

 

“Oi! You show your mother some respect!” she yelled in his face.

 

He looked down letting tears fall down as well. His mom seemed to not have liked this, because as soon as he brought his arm up to wipe his tears, she slapped him right across the cheek.

 

“Men don’t cry, I can’t believe I raised such a useless little shit like you!”

 

And she kept yelling venomous words in his direction.

 

-

 

Renjun and Jaemin arrived to an open door. During the whole time they were running Renjun kept feeling pain. They cautiously entered the house, and as soon as they entered they heard crying noises coming from the room in the back. Both of them ran there.

 

They saw a crying Donghyuck, curled up on the floor and holding his bruised cheek. His mother was over him, yelling degrading words at her own son.

 

Soon Jaemin started yelling back at her. Renjun made his way to Donghyuck and held him in his arms, whispering sweet comforting words in his ears, as his soulmate sobbed against him.

 

The woman left as Jaemin threatened he would call the police on both her and her husband for what they did to their son.

 

“Hyuckie, she’s gone now, she won’t hurt you anymore okay?” Donghyuck stayed burried in the smaller’s chest. “Baby look at me, please?” Renjun said in a soft voice and Donghyuck looked up at his soulmate.

 

“Let’s finish packing and drop it at Jaemin’s okay? Everything is okay now.” The younger nodded at what he was told, reluctantly letting go of Renjun.

 

-

 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t notice sooner! I was such a bad soulmate to you!” Renjun cried holding the other in his arms.

 

They were now alone in Jaemin’s  (now also Donghyuck’s) room, their friend thought they needed some alone time to discuss the whole soulmate business.

 

“It’s not your fault! At all! I could’ve just told you! I just thought you’d never love me and I didn’t want you to reject me and cut our bond.” Donghyuck cried back, holding even tighter to other.

 

“I love you, so so so much! I’m so glad it’s you! I just wish the circumstances were different.” the black haired pulled away from the other’s embrace, moving his hands to hold the other's cheeks. “It’s okay now, you don’t have to go through anything alone anymore! You have me, forever.” he saw the younger’s eyes sparkle before he leaned in.

  
Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but they could make it work. **Together.**

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it through all of this im very sorry but also,,, thank you uwu


End file.
